My Family
What can I say? Well, let’s start with immediate family:
Great husband…Alex…he’s a police officer. He’s quiet, not the type to “talk about feelings”, typical male stereotype but considering my personality, I think we couldn’t be a better fit. I like to talk everything to death, he lets me, and stays silent…lol..that works. This being the second time around for me, I can honestly say I am a very lucky lady…he’s a wonderful man and a great husband.
Great kids, Emily (turning 10 this October, 2005); and Danny (just turned 9 this past September, 2005).
Emily is beautiful, precocious, gregarious, inquisitive and loving. Stubborn - oh yes (like mommy) but oh so sweet and so mature for her age…she’s a blessing and she’s such a helper - always wanting to do more for me and always concerned about those she loves.
Danny is autistic. That’s “one thing” but he’s oh so many more things…he’s a joy. Danny is one of the most affectionate children I’ve ever been around, he’s loving and sensitive and always wants everyone to be happy. He’s obsessive about many things (again, like mommy!) but on him that trait is charming. He’s intelligent and inquisitive and just full of surprises.
Being a parent is a learning experience to begin with, being a parent of a special needs child is like taking extra credit studies…lol. I’ve learned more from him than I think he will ever learn from me.
Let’s go a little farther out on the family tree…..
My parents.
My parents are Cuban exiles. They fled Cuba at the very beginning of the Castro ascension and went directly to New York. My mom was 15 years old and my dad was 17 years old when they arrived in the United States. Both my parents and “their” parents love this country and although they mourn the Cuba they grew up in and loved so dearly, they all became citizens of the United States, have worked and been / are productive citizens and are grateful and love this country.
I have one brother, Ricky. He is my senior by 3 years. He’s easily the smartest man I know. The most aggravating thing is that he was/is the type that is just naturally brilliant - he hated school and wouldn’t ace classes because he didn’t do homework - just hated school…but he tested always top of his class…He chose to serve in the military, but before he left highschool he took his SATs and again, without studying for one second - scored almost a perfect score and throughout his life so far he’s made a mark for himself and has been incredibly successful without a college education. He has awife and three great kids and we live pretty close to each other. I love him dearly - he aggravates me greatly at times of course, but he’s my half.
I had a beautiful childhood. Very “Norman Rockwell” - I was born in the Bronx but we moved immediately to upstate New York (Middletown). We lived in a beautiful 2 story home in a middle class neighborhood. The street our house was on is called “Miller Road” and it actually had the “Millers - the family that constructed that neighborhood) living next to us as our neighbors! We had woods/creek in our backyard and the local pond would freeze over and we’d ice skate every winter. I still keep in touch with our dearest neighbors from there and my childhood friends.
Strict parents….VERY STRICT…but I can’t complain. They taught my brother and I many things by example, such as the value of hard work, honesty, keeping a reputation untarnished and the importance of loving your family and sticking together above all else. These lessons have proven invaluable and I hope to pass them on to my children.
My mother….the best woman I’ve ever known….I need much more time to write about her…words just don’t do her justice. To give you an “idea” - this is an old post I made on her birthday:
Mom’s Birthday
Today is my mom’s birthday…she just turned 59. I can’t believe it. MY MOM 59 years old?
Time flies..it feels like yesterday that she was helping me with homework and consoling me when my first official “boyfriend” broke up with me by leaving a note on my doorstep (almost as bad as the post-it note break-up on Sex and the City- LOL)…
The scariest thing to me about “me” getting older is that it means my parents are becoming (GULP) “Seniors” - scary older. It makes me think about the inevitable moment when they won’t be with me anymore.
I can’t imagine my life without them. Especially my Mom. She’s my rock, my best friend, the only person that I know in my gut loves me more than anyone will ever love me and who does so “unconditionally” with all my ugly flaws and my darkest moments.
When Danny (my son) was diagnosed with Autism 6 years ago, I was divorced, with a 3 yrd old little girl (Emy) and working 7 days a week to barely get by. That fateful day when I had to take Danny to a neurologist for a diagnosis after a battery of tests, my mom went to the appointment with me. To this day, I am convinced that had she not been there with me (I believe in the deepest level of my soul) that the earth would have swallowed me up whole upon hearing the doctor confirm my worst fears (and give me barely anything to be hopeful for in the future). He told me he couldn’t give me any assurances, that he felt Danny was ‘moderate to severe’ on the autistic scale and that many within this range end up institutionalized…upon hearing that word I involuntarily gasped…I couldn’t breathe…I couldn’t think…I couldn’t move…within 10 seconds the future was flashing before my eyes and it was terrifying but I finally found the words to tell this “doctor” that I was confident my son wouldn’t be institutionalized - my life would forever be dedicated to making him better and if God forbid he didn’t get better, he’d be with me and no institution.
My mom held my hand TIGHT- throughout what was the longest hour of my life and as I told that doctor what I thought of his horrible manner she never let me go. My grandfather, my mom’s dad, had just passed from Alzheimers after 11 yrs of suffering though that we all insisted he would never be put in a home - we worked in shifts and we took care of him until his last day here on earth…so after going thru that and then standing there and hearing this doctor say “institution” for my “son” we were both devastated to the core.
We didn’t speak a word when we left that office - we didn’t even look at each other - I felt as if a rock - a huge and heavy weight was on my chest not letting me breathe and I didn’t dare look at mom for fear I’d breakdown.
When we got to the car she turned me towards her and with tears in her eyes she braced me with the fortitude only she could provide as she told me “you are my life, your babies are my life - I promise you we will get through this and whatever it takes that beautiful little boy will get better - be strong for him as I will be strong for the both of you - trust me.”
Thank you mom…
Mom was right. My son is nothing like the hopeless case this neurologist made him out to be - he’s wonderful and bright and doing better everyday. Thank God for Danny and thank God a hundredfold for my mom. I love her more than I can measure in words - I’m not articulate enough to really get that across. So I’ll stop trying now…you get the point
Happy Birthday Mom…I love you “infinity x infinity”
My dad…ditto
Grandparents. I had the luxury and extreme blessing of having enjoyed all four of them for the longest time. We were all very close knit family - spent our weekends always together and every holiday/birthday. I adore them…my dad’s dad, Osito, died in his late 50’s of a heart attack…that was the only time I’ve ever seen my father cry. My mom’s dad, Papi, died 10 years ago after a long battle with Alzheimers….saddest thing - to see such a big/strong man that was so in love with his family - look at us and be afraid - thinking we were strangers….horrible sickness.
I am lucky that I still have both grandmothers alive and kicking…Titi (my mom’s mom) and Meme, my dad’s mom. They are an integral part of my life and my childrens’ lives…I adore them.
